I'm writing this to let out the emotions I am feeling, letting it all flow through my fingers, putting words to the emotions. To start, I am feeling bored, demotivated, lonely, and confused. I am in the point of my life where I don't know exactly what I really want to do.
I feel bored. For the past weeks, I don't find my work meaningful and significant. This may just be for a while, since we're moving to a new fiscal year which means it's time for new things to work on. And to make it more exciting, I'll be the one who will be creating our team's action plan, and I'll be managing other people's work plans and career as well. Hmmm... three minutes of writing and my boredom just went away.
I feel demotivated. I was recently promoted at work, and I was faced with bigger challenges and responsibilities. When I was promoted, I was super happy; but it lasted for a short while. After a few weeks, work was transitioned - both business and organizational matters - and I got to see the work that we will be doing at least for the year ahead, and I also have to think about other people's career - how to make them happy with their work, how to give them a competitive work plan, and how can I be instrumental to help them achieve their goals. Also, now that I'm promoted, I have to think about myself too - how can I be competitive against these people who already proved to be top class since they got promoted as well. Hmmm... six minutes of writing and I just realized I can't motivate my people if I myself am demotivated.
I feel lonely. Maybe I feel like this because friends come and go. Do friendships really just fall apart? Out with the old, in with the new? It's just heartbreaking to see friends give up on each other, and I'm caught in between, wanting everything to be still ok, to be the same as before. But I guess people change, and so are their choice of friends, and I can do nothing about it. Hmmm... eight minutes of writing and I realize being lonely doesn't really do anything.
I feel confused. I guess most people misunderstand me, I send an email, people make a fuss about it. I ask a question on facebook, people go crazy about it. I make a comment on multiply, people think I'm attacking them. I don't also understand why I lost the capacity to be really in love, to fall for someone, to be attached and be committed. Hmmm... ten minutes of writing and I realize I spend more time socializing online.
That's done. Do I feel better? Hmmm... I pray to God.
Goodbye, Canada!
6 months ago
6 comments:
it took only ten minutes... and you are back into the real world. :-)
hahaha yeah. It's funny how people like myself take time to think of things that are not even real at the moment. :)
Reflecting, which is writing for me, really helps one get back to reality. Thanks totomai!
instead of spending minutes in writing stuff, maybe it would be better if you analyze why people react the way they do to the things you do. para maka adjust baga, hehehe. but then again, you don't live to please everyone, so just be you are.
@r-yo - haha 10 minutes of writing isn't really a waste of time. :) I like it that way. And you're probably right, but I'm not the type to think what other people are thinking. I ask them directly if I'm bothering them or not. Haha just unfortunate that they get more angry when I ask them what's bothering them - they tell me I'm so clueless! Hahaha
hello geo. nice post. we all go through that... believe me.
i realized it's been a while since i visited your blog.. i just thought i'd say hi.
in being less motivated... i hope you get motivated to blog again.. as I love reading your posts.
@gcs - thanks for the motivating words, it really motivates me to blog more when I know people actually enjoys reading my posts :)
More power to you too!
Post a Comment