"What are you?"

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27)

Filipino, Spanish, French, Chinese

"What are you?" I've been asked that question a million times during my stay here in Cincinnati, Ohio.

"I am Filipino," I proudly answer every time.

"I mean, what else?" People always want to make it complicated, or maybe they just find me interesting. Ambiguity after all is interesting. Absolutes are not. What's interesting is the haziness, the blurrings, the undefinables, the mystery, to question.

"What do you think?" And I get a lot of answers, that I myself am surprised sometimes.

I have been mistaken for: Native American, Hawaiian, Indian, Mexican, Cuban, Puerto Rican, Costa Rican, Thai... People come up to me and greet me in Spanish, Pidgin, and sometimes in Chinese! And I guess it doesn't help wearing colored contact lenses - I wear green, blue, and brown. And for each color, I get a different answer.

"But what am I?"

I am not only Filipino

I am not exactly Chinese

I am not simply French

I am not merely Spanish

But I am all of it. These combined is a representation of my ancestry, unique, and proud.

Bye 2009, Hello 2010!

This 2009, a lot has happened, and I just want to list it all down to show my appreciation to everyone who were involved.

1. Although I did my landmark forum on November 2008, I had my seminars - creativity and effectivity seminars on 2009. And with it, I experienced joy, love, power, and freedom of self expression. After landmark forum, I attended Landon's leadership seminar which made me present with my body and how it feels like when I experience emotions such as joy, fear, excitement, courage, authenticity, etc. It is also a fulfilling experience to invite someone in Landmark Forum and see their transformations :)

2. My promotion in P&G and my experience being a first time people manager. I learned that my work is not just about my career, but how I relate and help other people as well. Even though I will start my 2010 without my team, I am still thankful and I believe that I have learned a lot from my team, and hopefully they learned from me.

3. I started my modeling "career" this 2009. Before, I thought I was just a normal ugly guy, but after seeing my pictures, it really boosted my self-esteem - thanks to the photographers who really believed in me :)

3a. And not only I've done modeling here in Manila, I did modeling in Los Angeles as well! It was really fun working with international talents :)

4. This year I turned lacto-vegetarian. It was really sad to learn the truth about our meat and how animals are abused. God sent me a good friend of mine who used to work for PETA and taught me all about being vegetarian. I may still be using leather and other animal products, but I believe it's a start, and I am making the right decision to help the animals.

5. I love to travel! This year, I was blessed to travel with old friends and new-found friends to Kuala Lumpur, Bali, and Phuket. It was really the most exciting and enjoyable trips I had in my life to date - conquering my fear of heights with KL's rides, getting locked in a room with friends in Bali, island adventure in the midst of the storm in Phuket!

6. This year I got involved in couchsurfing! My first couch surfing experience was in Makati, then in LA (although accidental), and I attended the Couchsurfing xmas party in Manila! :) I really want to highlight my 2 trips in LA, my hosts were so accomodating :) My roommate is even a couchsurfer!

7. I learned how to surf this year! First time was in La Union in Billabong Surfing School, and then I was able to surf on my own in Bali and Phuket :) I also met new friends in surfing school and made new connections that helped me on my modeling project in UP.

8. My surprise birthday party and my surprise despedida party from my office friends. :) To be honest, this is the first time someone made surprise parties for me, I was really touched.

There are a lot of other important events back in 2009 but it will be a long list if I list down to the smallest detail. But to those who have touched my life one way or another, from the bottom of my heart, thank you! :)

2010 is coming, and I know it's going to rock! It is the year of the tiger (my year) after all. And I will spend my 2010 in the US, it will really be an exciting and a new experience for me. :)

Thank you 2009, and welcome 2010!

Honor Your Father

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you." (Exodus 20:12)

7:05AM

"GEO... GEO..."

My uncles were waking me up from outside disturbing my peaceful and much needed sleep. I grumpily woke up, jumped out of bed, opened the door as my uncles came in with worried looks on their faces. They had nothing for me but bad news.

8:13AM

"Is George Lubaton there?" I asked.

"GEORGE!" the officer shouted. And from his right, my dad appeared - he was behind bars. He is 58 - he looked really old and thin, with clothes really dirty and looked smelly probably from staying in the jail overnight. I was crushed, as words, "what happened?" flowed out my mouth.

9:37AM

A mother came in the station as a group of kids followed her. The policewoman asked if she was Mildrid, the mother said yes. And they went to a room with a glass wall. I could see them talk but I couldn't hear or understand what they were talking about, so I made myself busy watching the kids play outside. I looked at the long-haired little girl in red shirt, she was very happy and cheerful as she laughed with her friends. It seems like they were teasing each other.

9:44AM

Mildrid went out the glass room and called the little girl in red. The little girl ran cheerfully to her mom who looked devastated; they held hands as they went inside the glass room.

9:50AM

Mildrid went outside the room again and called the rest of the kids. There was a curly haired girl and the rest are boys. Being kids, they were so noisy and very active as they enter the room, they made the devastated mom look much more tired and stressed from managing all those naughty rascals.

10:53AM

"The mother showed a medical certificate of the girl. She is still 7 but she already has lacerations in her vagina," the policewoman explained to me. "The other kids witnessed and testified that he invited them to play the piano in the house. And as they play the piano, he was kissing and touching the little girl at their back."

The policewoman continued, "The little girl told me that he was sexing her. I asked her what she means by sexing her, and the little girl said, 'he put his penis inside my vagina.'"

"Imagine that, a 7 year old talking about sex."

I looked at Mildrid and her daughter outside. The site of the mother kissing the little kid on the forehead killed me.

My father is the suspect for raping the little girl in red.

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you." (Exodus 20:12)

This is one of God's commandment, and I have difficulty obeying it. So help me God.

Cruelty to Animals

"The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it." (Genesis 2:15) And during the course of time, what did we do? And what are we doing now? Please watch a short slide show about cruelty to animals happening in Denmark. This is just a sample of what's happening all around the world, but this one really made an impact on me.

"There is no faithfulness, no love, no acknowledgment of God in the land.

There is only cursing, lying and murder, stealing and adultery;

they break all bounds, and bloodshed follows bloodshed.

Because of this the land mourns, and all who live in it waste away;

the beasts of the field and the birds of the air and the fish of the sea are dying."

(Hosea 4:1-3)

I pray this will stop...

Fame and Fortune

"I will make you famous. You will be rich..."

I've been modeling for almost six months now and it has been an adventure! Photo shoots locally and internationally, working with different photographers and models of different nationalities and culture, it's really an exciting world especially to a guy like me who loves to travel and meet different people and know different cultures. But although I've done a number of projects, I am still unknown to many. I am still a freelance model after all - no manager, no agencies. Sometimes there's this desire that I want more - I want fame, and fortune will go along with it too.

There was one time I was invited and asked to model for a commercial, and the director was very interested to get me. He was really frank and open saying that he likes my pictures, my body was perfect for the commercial, and I was handsome. Flattering really, so I said yes. He called one night and asked me questions - some sort of an informal interview. He asked me what's my goal in modeling, what I want, what I desire. I said I want to be in a magazine or billboard someday, and I'll be happy. He then told me that he can make me famous - he said yes to all my requests for the upcoming projects, he said he will give me a lot of other projects where I can be in a magazine, newspaper, and if there's an opportunity, he will give me a project for a billboard too. Those are very good promises, and I was excited.

But there is a price to pay. He asked me that in return of the fame that he will give me, he asked me if he could take me home, for just one night. I declined and didn't join the commercial project.

If this happened to me, I'm sure I'm not the only one. And the sad part is, some will accept the offer. They have their reasons, but to me those people with power and money used their weakness - their great desire to be famous and rich. GREED.

I pray this will not happen to anyone.

If it does, I pray they make the right decision.

If they accepted, I pray they rethink their decision.

"...there is a price to pay."

I am a Godfather

I am a Godfather! My first goddaughter is Hailey Sophia Peters - the daughter of a good friend and an old fencing comrade of mine, Vince. And boy am I such a bad godfather? I haven't seen Hailey in flesh yet! Or maybe I show up when she turns 18? Haha just kidding. :)

Traditionally, godparents were informally responsible for ensuring the child's religious education was carried out, and for caring for the child should they be orphaned (I pray not!). But in the Filipino culture, godparents (or commonly known as ninong and ninang) are known for giving gifts during birthdays and Christmases. Of course I'm more then willing to help Hailey know Jesus!

Congratulations for a wonderful daughter Vince! And I pray for Hailey's great life ahead!

From Heart to Fingers

I'm writing this to let out the emotions I am feeling, letting it all flow through my fingers, putting words to the emotions. To start, I am feeling bored, demotivated, lonely, and confused. I am in the point of my life where I don't know exactly what I really want to do.

I feel bored. For the past weeks, I don't find my work meaningful and significant. This may just be for a while, since we're moving to a new fiscal year which means it's time for new things to work on. And to make it more exciting, I'll be the one who will be creating our team's action plan, and I'll be managing other people's work plans and career as well. Hmmm... three minutes of writing and my boredom just went away.

I feel demotivated. I was recently promoted at work, and I was faced with bigger challenges and responsibilities. When I was promoted, I was super happy; but it lasted for a short while. After a few weeks, work was transitioned - both business and organizational matters - and I got to see the work that we will be doing at least for the year ahead, and I also have to think about other people's career - how to make them happy with their work, how to give them a competitive work plan, and how can I be instrumental to help them achieve their goals. Also, now that I'm promoted, I have to think about myself too - how can I be competitive against these people who already proved to be top class since they got promoted as well. Hmmm... six minutes of writing and I just realized I can't motivate my people if I myself am demotivated.

I feel lonely. Maybe I feel like this because friends come and go. Do friendships really just fall apart? Out with the old, in with the new? It's just heartbreaking to see friends give up on each other, and I'm caught in between, wanting everything to be still ok, to be the same as before. But I guess people change, and so are their choice of friends, and I can do nothing about it. Hmmm... eight minutes of writing and I realize being lonely doesn't really do anything.

I feel confused. I guess most people misunderstand me, I send an email, people make a fuss about it. I ask a question on facebook, people go crazy about it. I make a comment on multiply, people think I'm attacking them. I don't also understand why I lost the capacity to be really in love, to fall for someone, to be attached and be committed. Hmmm... ten minutes of writing and I realize I spend more time socializing online.

That's done. Do I feel better? Hmmm... I pray to God.