Cruelty to Animals

"The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it." (Genesis 2:15) And during the course of time, what did we do? And what are we doing now? Please watch a short slide show about cruelty to animals happening in Denmark. This is just a sample of what's happening all around the world, but this one really made an impact on me.

"There is no faithfulness, no love, no acknowledgment of God in the land.

There is only cursing, lying and murder, stealing and adultery;

they break all bounds, and bloodshed follows bloodshed.

Because of this the land mourns, and all who live in it waste away;

the beasts of the field and the birds of the air and the fish of the sea are dying."

(Hosea 4:1-3)

I pray this will stop...

Fame and Fortune

"I will make you famous. You will be rich..."

I've been modeling for almost six months now and it has been an adventure! Photo shoots locally and internationally, working with different photographers and models of different nationalities and culture, it's really an exciting world especially to a guy like me who loves to travel and meet different people and know different cultures. But although I've done a number of projects, I am still unknown to many. I am still a freelance model after all - no manager, no agencies. Sometimes there's this desire that I want more - I want fame, and fortune will go along with it too.

There was one time I was invited and asked to model for a commercial, and the director was very interested to get me. He was really frank and open saying that he likes my pictures, my body was perfect for the commercial, and I was handsome. Flattering really, so I said yes. He called one night and asked me questions - some sort of an informal interview. He asked me what's my goal in modeling, what I want, what I desire. I said I want to be in a magazine or billboard someday, and I'll be happy. He then told me that he can make me famous - he said yes to all my requests for the upcoming projects, he said he will give me a lot of other projects where I can be in a magazine, newspaper, and if there's an opportunity, he will give me a project for a billboard too. Those are very good promises, and I was excited.

But there is a price to pay. He asked me that in return of the fame that he will give me, he asked me if he could take me home, for just one night. I declined and didn't join the commercial project.

If this happened to me, I'm sure I'm not the only one. And the sad part is, some will accept the offer. They have their reasons, but to me those people with power and money used their weakness - their great desire to be famous and rich. GREED.

I pray this will not happen to anyone.

If it does, I pray they make the right decision.

If they accepted, I pray they rethink their decision.

"...there is a price to pay."

I am a Godfather

I am a Godfather! My first goddaughter is Hailey Sophia Peters - the daughter of a good friend and an old fencing comrade of mine, Vince. And boy am I such a bad godfather? I haven't seen Hailey in flesh yet! Or maybe I show up when she turns 18? Haha just kidding. :)

Traditionally, godparents were informally responsible for ensuring the child's religious education was carried out, and for caring for the child should they be orphaned (I pray not!). But in the Filipino culture, godparents (or commonly known as ninong and ninang) are known for giving gifts during birthdays and Christmases. Of course I'm more then willing to help Hailey know Jesus!

Congratulations for a wonderful daughter Vince! And I pray for Hailey's great life ahead!

From Heart to Fingers

I'm writing this to let out the emotions I am feeling, letting it all flow through my fingers, putting words to the emotions. To start, I am feeling bored, demotivated, lonely, and confused. I am in the point of my life where I don't know exactly what I really want to do.

I feel bored. For the past weeks, I don't find my work meaningful and significant. This may just be for a while, since we're moving to a new fiscal year which means it's time for new things to work on. And to make it more exciting, I'll be the one who will be creating our team's action plan, and I'll be managing other people's work plans and career as well. Hmmm... three minutes of writing and my boredom just went away.

I feel demotivated. I was recently promoted at work, and I was faced with bigger challenges and responsibilities. When I was promoted, I was super happy; but it lasted for a short while. After a few weeks, work was transitioned - both business and organizational matters - and I got to see the work that we will be doing at least for the year ahead, and I also have to think about other people's career - how to make them happy with their work, how to give them a competitive work plan, and how can I be instrumental to help them achieve their goals. Also, now that I'm promoted, I have to think about myself too - how can I be competitive against these people who already proved to be top class since they got promoted as well. Hmmm... six minutes of writing and I just realized I can't motivate my people if I myself am demotivated.

I feel lonely. Maybe I feel like this because friends come and go. Do friendships really just fall apart? Out with the old, in with the new? It's just heartbreaking to see friends give up on each other, and I'm caught in between, wanting everything to be still ok, to be the same as before. But I guess people change, and so are their choice of friends, and I can do nothing about it. Hmmm... eight minutes of writing and I realize being lonely doesn't really do anything.

I feel confused. I guess most people misunderstand me, I send an email, people make a fuss about it. I ask a question on facebook, people go crazy about it. I make a comment on multiply, people think I'm attacking them. I don't also understand why I lost the capacity to be really in love, to fall for someone, to be attached and be committed. Hmmm... ten minutes of writing and I realize I spend more time socializing online.

That's done. Do I feel better? Hmmm... I pray to God.

Our Mind Is A Meaning-Making Machine

Last weekend, me and my P&G friends went to Luke Landrigan's Billabong Surf School at La Union to learn how to surf. It was a very cool experience - riding the waves and all; but what I treasured the most was the experience of meeting new people, learning new things from them, and building friendships. It was like I've been cooped up in the office for so long that I almost forgot the feeling of being related to another human being!


Of all the people that I've met, there's this one guy that really struck me - strucked in a way that I don't understand his personality to the point that I'm putting meaning to his actions for me to understand him.

1. I don't understand why I feel like this guy (which I will hide in the name of Dodong) kept on bashing me stressing out that I am arrogant and airy. OK, I might have been a little airy when we talked about college life back in UP... but that's just it, I don't understand why he had to bring it out in every conversation or statement that I say.
2. I feel like he's being disrespectful when he gets food from my plate or when he drinks from my glass without asking for permission. I would say yes if he asks for it anyway.
3. And when I woke up one morning, I almost stepped on a pair of eyeglasses as it was neatly placed on one of my slippers. Good thing I didn't break it as it wasn't mine. I immediately thought that Dodong tried to play a foul prank on me placing the glasses on my slippers thinking that the glasses were mine. I have no hard evidence that he did that, but I strongly believe that it was him... he's the only guy in the room who's crazy enough to do it since he mentioned he eats "Brownies" after all (if you know what I mean).

I told all of these to Armi, a good friend of mine, and she just said I am judging Dodong and I could have interpreted his actions in a different way. She said that Dodong probably feels that we're already friends that it's ok to share food without asking for permission anymore and it could be that playing a prank is Dodong's way of showing affection (assuming that he did put the glasses on my slippers to begin with!). Armi also told me that she sees a lot of similarities between me and Dodong, and Dodong could be seeing a bit of himself from me and vice versa. I don't fully understand that part, but I guess we do have a lot in common to the point that he gets on my nerves!

Anyway, I'm writing this down to remind myself to stop putting meaning to things that I don't fully understand. Just accept things or people the way they are and the way they are not.

Beauty

Growing up, I always find myself ugly, and I have a very low confidence when taking pictures or when courting. Recently, I've been invited to do a photo shoot as one of the models. I was excited and it helped me boost my self-esteem.

After seeing the result, I was amazed! I now really appreciate myself and I thank God for who and what I am. I can't believe I tell God before why he created me this way etc. But now I'm very thankful. Thank you Lord! :)

You can check more of my modeling pics at www.gclubaton.multiply.com

Money

I have a problem with money. No matter what I do, money just won't stay with me for a long time. I do earn more than enough for a single person, it's just that there are a lot of things that I need to spend on.

Ok, I do admit I am also quite a spender most of the time, but you have to pamper yourself once in a while, yeah? That's why it is also difficult for me to use my own money for something that wouldn't benefit me directly. Like for example, I paid for my mom and dad's dentures, I bought my sister quite an expensive gift on her 18th birthday. But I guess these are still a bit easy to give out since they are family. It was just recently that I lent money to someone who I never talked to for years.

A high school classmate called me one morning. She never contacted me since we graduated, except when I meet her in reunions, but that's just it. So she called and asked if she could borrow a huge sum of money. She said she's having a baby this month and they expected the baby to come on March, so the money they loaned will also come on March. However, the excited baby wants to go out this February, so they don't have money. And she called me to borrow some money.

Being myself, I would not normally lend money. I would have said, why did you do it and get pregnant if both of you aren't financially ready? I would have said, I don't think you can pay for it. But I just put off everything I was thinking and just help out since we're talking about life here. Amazingly, my classmate now texts me regularly and updates me on how she is doing and how the baby is doing. I just pray that the baby will come out healthy and both of them to be safe.

What I learned is that money is not really important here in this world. It's the relatedness and friendship you build that makes us alive and human.